The most important aspect that you need to master in order to thrive through your BreakUp is mastering your own Mindset. Let’s face it – the only change you have any control over is you. Your thoughts, your beliefs, your behaviors and actions, and, your results.
As long as you believe that you are a victim of someone else’s bad behavior, persecution, lack of love, narcissism, etc., you WILL be a victim. As long as you believe you are weak, out of control, unable to cope, unable to thrive, it WILL be so.
Mindset is the first place I start in my Divorce Bootcamp course, Thriving Through Divorce. It’s that important. And it’s complex and there are a lot of layers. If you read My Story, you know that there was a moment when my Mindset changed from devastation and disbelief to empowerment.
I was sitting in my truck across the street from HER darkened house looking at my husband’s car parked in HER driveway. The crossroads had come and I had a choice as to which path I wanted to take. I haven’t always been able to stay on that path, but I’ve done damn well if I do say so myself. It’s only been 3 months for me. Yep. I’m doing damn well thriving!
I decided in that instant that I was going to thrive. I didn’t know how. I didn’t know who would be there to support me. I didn’t know what my future held. But not knowing any of that wasn’t important. The only thing that was important was that I decided and set my intention.
And that’s what Mindset is all about. Consciously deciding and embarking on the path that YOU choose to follow. It won’t be easy. Nothing about this pain is easy. But you have to begin to craft the rest of your life the way YOU want it to be. And you have to start today.
Mindset is about developing empowering thoughts, beliefs and habits. It’s as simple and as complicated as that. And that’s where good coaching comes in. You can’t get that from friends and family. Everyone you know has their own vested interest in your future. They will have their own agendas that you may not see.
Your BreakUp will threaten some. It will please others (hard fact of life). It will sadden some. And, it will cause some who love you to want to help you play the victim and help you play a game I call “Ain’t It Awful”. And none of that will be the slightest bit helpful to you in thriving through this.
You need a disinterested, third party, badass Warrior by your side. I’m here.
Walk on, Warrior!