Warriors, you will wallow in the muck of your life as long as you believe it’s what you deserve or that it’s your lot in life or that you’re not worthy of anything better. What you believe about yourself and what you tell yourself are the biggest clues as to how your life will flow.
Take a deep breath. Exhale all of it. Take another deep breath. Exhale. Take another and another and another. Let all the stress and the judgments about what has happened and what is happening leave your body and your mind.
Just sit for a few minutes and breathe.
Let’s take some baby steps together:
- Can you find one thing that you like or appreciate about yourself? (If you can find several, that’s fantastic!) Start with just one thing. I remember a time when my life was so dark that all I could find to like about myself was my nose. Seriously! That’s all I could connect to. I went for weeks holding on to that thought: “I really like my nose. It’s cute as hell!” Find that thing and milk it. Milk it every day all day. Trust me on this one – it’s just a baby step to help you learn to value yourself.
- Can you find one reason to be proud of yourself? One thing – no matter how large or how small – that you have accomplished that you are proud of. It doesn’t matter what it is.
- Can you think of a time in your life when you did something or said something that made someone happy or made someone smile or laugh? It doesn’t matter who it is/was. Just think about a time when you had a positive influence on someone else.
- Can you think of a time in your life when someone said something to you that was a sincere compliment & it made your day? I have several of those but my favorite was a day when I was in college & I was downtown at the drug store. I smiled and said hello to the pharmacist as I walked by where he was working. A couple of minutes later, he came over to me and said, “You have a beautiful, infectious smile” and then he walked away. That was almost 40 years ago, and I remember it like it was yesterday. I always smile when I think about it.
Sit and think about your responses to these questions. Find even the smallest glimmer of liking yourself for any of these things. If you struggle with this exercise, keep working at it for a day or two and see what comes up for you. If this exercise was easy for you, congrats! You are well on your way to loving yourself through your BreakUp!
The goal here is to become a High Value Person. High Value People have standards and they never lower their standards for others. High Value People are authentic – they are true to who they are. Some of us are too polite and too pleasant (yes, I do this too!). We find ourselves going along with others when it’s not what we want just to avoid making waves. That’s not High Value.
High Value People are kind while they speak their truth and pursue their goals. Their lives have a direction and a purpose which they are committed to. High Value People don’t chase other people in order to keep relationships together.
Here’s a blog post about Self-Love from one of my favorite sites – www.tut.com. I fall down on number 1! I rarely get enough sleep and for the last 3 weeks, I’ve been living on junk/fast food. Not good (and you can see it in my face – I’m bloated and blotchy)! Time for some extreme self-care in my world!
If you have any ideas to share about self-care and self-love, I’d love to hear them!
Walk on, Warriors!