No, not the TV show although I loved that show! Wasn’t it awesome? I loved all the plotting and planning just to see how things didn’t turn out like Emily intended.
Warriors, we’ve all heard the cliches about revenge:
- While seeking revenge, dig two graves – one for yourself.
- A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green.
- Beware the fury of a patient man.
- Revenge is a dish best served cold.
- I don’t get mad. I get revenge.
And my personal favorite: “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned“.
When you feel powerlessness or hopeless, it’s actually great therapy to PLOT revenge. Notice I carefully inserted “PLOT” in there. Plotting revenge in as many ways you can actually helps move your energy and moves you up the Emotional Scale which is extremely beneficial. (I’ll post more about the Emotional Scale later!)
But what does acting on revenge actually accomplish? I completely understand to emotional need to lash out at someone you perceive has caused you pain. Really I do! My question is: Exactly what are you wanting to accomplish by enacting a revenge plot? Is it your desire to simply inflict pain? If so, have at it! Way to go! You’re now a crappy person just like the one you believe hurt you. You’re now on their level. Awesome job! Congrats!
Do you want revenge because you want to prove something? What are you trying prove? Is your plot so diabolical and twisted that anyone who hears of it will know of your brilliance? Or is it intended to make your victim look stupid? Are you trying to prove your superiority and his/her inferiority?
Look Warriors, I get it. Honest to God, I do. I have to tell you, from my personal experience, the sweetness of successful revenge is very, very fleeting. It will have nothing to do with your healing. It will have nothing to do with your ability to move forward with your life. It will have nothing to do with your ability to let it go.
In the end, revenge solves nothing. It’s only purpose is to make you feel better for a little while. It’s effects are not permanent. Although I will interject that I still smile when I think of my perfectly executed revenge plot that went off without a hitch. It changed nothing for me. Trust me on this one, revenge solves nothing!
Warriors, I’m not telling you not to do it. If you feel called to it, go for it. Just know what you’re doing and why. As petty as it sounds (and it’s petty), my revenge was based solely on my need to see him hurting the way I perceived he had hurt me. That’s all. I’m not proud of it but at that moment in time, I couldn’t not do it. I felt such a strong need to enact the plan and see it play out before my eyes. No one could have talked me out of it even though no one tried.
I’m simply asking you to take hold of your impulses during a time of extremely high stress, and think of your long term desires over and above your momentary impulses to lash out. Take the High Road. Do as I say not as I have done. The High Road is difficult at times. But it’s the only road worth walking in the long run because it’s the only road that leads you to where you want to be – standing tall, dignity intact, emotionally strong, and healthy.
Plot your revenge until the cows come home! Relish those plots! Wallow in those plots! Make them as diabolical as you can imagine. Particularly late at night when you’re alone and in pain.
Then wake up the next morning, smile to yourself and move on. You’re a Warrior! You know which battles are worth fighting and which battles are worth walking away from. You know in your heart, don’t you?