I’ve always loved the irony that we refer to ourselves as “human beings” when we really have become are “human doings”. We have to do “this” and we must do “that” in order to earn respect or earn our way in this world.
We erect monuments to humans who accomplish this, that or the other thing. We admire people with money – all the while we completely neglect whether or not they are happy, raise productive children or care for their spouses, etc.
Our society places a premium on athletes and entertainers regardless of their character. The first is based on talent and/or acquired skill and the second is largely based on looks (whether by accident of birth or store bought). Don’t get me wrong – there are a lot of athletes and entertainers who are exceptional human beings. This commentary is more about society than any particular individual(s).
How many times have you been told you have to “out-hustle” someone else in order to be “successful”? How many times have you been told to work your ass off so you can have something you want? When did we, as a society, begin equating self-worth with accomplishment or net worth?
One of my mother’s mottos is “Never let them see you cry”. So guess what? I learned as a child that it’s not okay to cry. Another of her mottos is “Make them a son of a bitch by comparison”. So I also learned never, ever to make any kind of scene in public. And by all means, never tell anyone how you really feel! Heavens no!
When did it stop being okay for us to:
- Be overwhelmed
- Say no
- Need each other
- Feel scared
- Dance like no one’s watching
- Laugh until you wet your pants
- Play in the rain
- Be traumatized
- Love just for sake of loving
“I am a human being, not a human doing. Don’t equate your self-worth with how well you do things in life. You aren’t what you do. If you are what you do, then when you don’t…you aren’t.” Isn’t this just the most compelling statement from Dr. Wayne Dyer?
“If you are what you do, then when you don’t…you aren’t.”
So if I’m a Litigation Paralegal, what am I when I retire? Am I a retired Litigation Paralegal? Is that all? Oh wait, I’m Tyler’s mother. Yes. I. Am. And I always will be but that’s not the core of who I am.
I’m a Reiki Master and an Animal Communicator. Indeed. I’m the BreakUp Warrior. Yep.
But that’s not who I am! That’s what I do!
Think about it …
When someone asks what you do, can’t you just go on and on about your job or you business or your passion? How long can you carry on if someone asks who you are? Would that completely stump you?
Who are you?
Can you answer that question without mentioning how you earn a living, who you’re married to, what you do for your children, or – and this is my pet peeve – listing your perceived failures?
Try it!! Seriously! Come on, try it!
Indeed I’m a Warrior. I’ve always had a Warrior Spirit even though at times in my life I’ve buried it in order to get along and not threaten others.
I’m a woman who cries when I see line trucks headed south after a hurricane (like today) or an ambulance going by with sirens blaring because the helpers are rushing in to help their neighbors. I’m a woman who finds it easier to love horses and dogs than I do people. I’m a woman who is easily overwhelmed because I want to try everything at least once.
I’m a woman who is so much more than I appear to be on the surface. I’m funny and raunchy and intense and smart and sometimes stupid as hell. I’m always trying to be a better person. To love more and judge less. To feel more and think less. To respond with compassion. To always know – no matter what – that all is well.
It’s challenging, isn’t it?
Just something to think about from someone who is always trying to lighten up!