I had to go through my photograph boxes last night. A member of my family asked me to find a picture for them.
So I did.
And I came across this one. It’s one of the few pictures I kept of my ex, GP. The note on the back reads:
Camden, Maine, 2000
In an instant, I was flooded with memories. Good memories. Fun memories. Funny memories. Sweet memories. Because you have to know it wasn’t all horrific and traumatic.
That night in Paris when we couldn’t figure out which Metro train to take to get back to our hotel.
That weekend in Pocono at a Nascar race – remembering how Ken Schrader called me “Red” every time we saw each other after that weekend.
That night in Florence, Italy, when GP gave our waiter, Mario, most of the Lire we had left because we were leaving the next day. I think it was a 100% tip!
The day we closed on our “retirement property” in Lake Lure, NC.
That night I fell off the bar stool in Oak Island, NC.
Hiking in Acadia National Park where the views are just breathtaking.
The day I finally brought my horse home to the new barn we built, and my lifelong dream to own my own farm came true.
The day I put my first horse down and cried all night. He stayed awake to comfort me.
It wasn’t all puppy dogs and roses, and I’ve spent many years focused on the horrible memories of that marriage/relationship.
What I discovered last night was how good it felt just to sit there and remember the good times. It doesn’t make me miss him or want him back. It was just really nice to have no emotional attachment except for the “niceness” of being able to relive those moments and feel good. That’s it – I felt good remembering those times. That’s been a long time coming.
So, here’s to that day in London when all I wanted to do was hang out long enough to see the changing of the Guard at Buckingham Palace so I could see the horses and it was so freaking cold & windy that we both thought we had frostbite. GP was uncharacteristically patient that day – I realize now that he was simply trying to please me.
I mean really! Just look at me – was I having fun that day? It doesn’t look like it. But he tried his best to make me happy by hanging out, freezing, so I could see the horses. He can’t be all bad, right? He’s not.
None of us are. And maybe that’s the point.
If you can get to the place where you fondly remember the good times and you can let go of the bad times, then don’t you win? Don’t you win your peace of mind? Don’t you win a strong sense of contentment? Don’t you win by moving forward with your life & leaving the bondage of the past behind?
I believe you do. So, here’s to the Good Times.
I’m going to spend time remembering more good from my past, and less bad. Yeah. That’s what I’m going to do.